Quidditch Pitch
by sexymarauders
Summary: James Sirius loves the Chudley Cannons. But can he love a woman? (This is unabashedly Fever Pitch but with magic).


**A/N Hi I'm a loser I wrote three chapters of this a year ago, continued writing it in my head, had a weird day today, deleted it, rewrote the first chapter and am reuploading it. This story is shamelessly the plot of the movie Fever Pitch, starring Jimmy Fallon, but with barely mentioned Harry Potter characters. So enjoy this piece of unoriginal trash.**

James Sirius Potter aggressively loved Quidditch. More specifically, he loved the Chudley Cannons. Ron, his godfather, had taken him to his first game at the tender age of six, and he was completely enamored with those "morons on brooms" as most articles tended to call them. He had been to 874 of their matches, and had seen them win exactly four. And he remembered every single one of those games in perfect detail. The most recent one was just last summer; Ron had been with him and the Cannons were losing, badly, for the majority of the game. But they sent out a reserve Chaser, MacKay, who scored 15 goals in 30 minutes. It was probably the best bit of playing he'd seen in quite a while, really great defense by the team too and -

"James?" Neville's voice jolted him out of his daydream. "You can oversee the Gryffindor tryouts, make sure no one breaks their neck?"

"Oh, uh, yeah sure," said James, wondering bitterly what was keeping Madam Hooch from doing it. He looked around the staff room, the youngest man in the room by quite a bit. He loved his job, he really did, but he couldn't help but feel trapped in the castle sometimes, by stuffy old professors who didn't quite have the same interests as him. James had been feeling middle-aged lately: like a teenager at work, but miles behind his friends and family in the life department. Al had just gotten engaged to Jacob, Dominique was pregnant, and Eliza (James' goddaughter, Teddy and Vic's kid) was turning seven soon.

He was so entrenched in his own pitiful thoughts he barely noticed the scraping of chairs as the staff meeting ended and all his coworkers filed by him. He got up, rubbing his eyes and feeling especially tired.

"Tryouts are next Sunday, nine AM," Neville instructed him as he walked by.

"You got it, boss," said James, following him out the door. "And why couldn't Hooch do it?"

"I think you could use both a little more responsibility in your life and a more active role in your student's lives," replied Neville smoothly.

"You know I'm a teacher here, Neville, not a student?" he reminded the older professor. Neville smiled at him.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" said Neville, a nostalgic glint in his eye. "It's just hard - not to still see you as the James I taught for seven years,"

James merely rolled his eyes.

scenebreakscenebreak

The following morning, James headed into the village. The full moon was the following Friday, and he needed to get Eliza her monthly sweet basket. He headed into Honeydukes, breathing in the warm, sugary smell, stopping when he noticed someone new behind the counter.

"Oh, hello!" he said brightly. All the workers there knew him and exactly what he got. "You must be new, I don't recognize you,"

"Not quite," said the girl, smiling at him. "I'm just working because my aunt is ill. I normally am in charge of making the candy, charming it and the like,"

"Ah," said James, approaching her and seeing that her name-tag read "Laura". She had chocolate hair that twisted up into a bun, and a cute, round face dotted with freckles. She was quite pretty. "Well - I'm James, I'm in here a lot," He beamed at her. "So - I want to do like a gift basket situation - can you help me?" He could feel himself turning the charm way, way up.

"Gift basket?" she asked, a note of teasing in her voice. "What, are you in trouble with the lady?"

"No lady for me, if you can believe it," grinned James. "This is for my goddaughter, Eliza," He whipped out his wallet (he could never resist showing Eliza off), handing Laura a picture of Eliza wobbling uncertainly on a broom. "She'll be seven next month,"

"What a cutie!" said Laura, inspecting the photo. "What's her favorite type of chocolate? Does she like fudge, I just made a huge batch of that…"

By the end of the transaction, James had scored himself a date.

scenebreak

"Laura," said Al slowly, looking at his brother through the fire. He snapped his fingers. "I remember her! She was sweet, a very nice girl. A Ravenclaw!"

James was sitting in his living room, on his Chudley Cannon's rug, wearing his Chudley Cannon's pajamas. He was drinking tea from his Chudley Cannon's mug, and he had just finished re-reading his dad's old copy of Flying with the Cannons before Al had popped in for a chat.

"Great, thank you for the info," said James sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Albus. "I'm so glad I know she's sweet and nice,"

"What do you want me to say?" He asked irritably. "We knew each other, we had a few classes. She was top in Charms, I remember. So, James, is this is the girl for you?"

"Merlin, Albus, I met the girl once," he said, running his hands through his hair. "I dunno. She was very...I dunno..."

"Sweet and nice?" interjected Al with a grin.

"Alright, alright," said James. "Comedian of the year. Anyway, how's Auror life?"

"Dad's still got me stuck at the desk all day," said Al angrily, frustration flashing through his green eyes. "I passed all the field tests with flying colors, and he thinks I'm not ready,"

"I'm sorry, mate," said James, who wasn't interested. "What clubs was Laura in?"

"James, I don't know!" Said Al exasperatedly. "I swear, you are still twelve on the inside,"

James shrugged. "I'm just excited. I haven't had a date in like three years. What if she's the one?"

Al rolled his eyes. "You've already found 'the one,' you said. You have the Cannons,"

James grinned. "Yeah, they are pretty great," His eyes wandered around his living space, every inch with Cannons paraphernalia.

Al's face got serious. "James, I'm gonna tell you something and you might not like it,"

"What?" Asked James, his heart sinking. He hated when Albus acted like this - he was nearly always right.

"If you want things to go well with this girl, you might want to back off on the Cannon stuff,"

"You're mental," said James instinctively. "Girls love that I'm passionate,"

"Girls also hate when you love something more than them. Just don't talk about it with her for a while in front of her, okay? I just want to help you out,"

"Yeah, yeah," said James, slightly embarrassed he was being given this talk. "I gotta go grade some papers, I'll talk to you later. Be safe at work,"

"Love you," said Al, like he always did.

"Okay," said James, like he always did.

As Al left the fire, James leaned back on his heels. Were the Cannon's really why he was so desperately single? Did he really like them more than girls?

"Well," he figured aloud. "Girls can break your heart. You expect the Cannons to,"

scenebreak

James had been in Teddy's house for three seconds before he heard the padding of feet running down the stairs to him.

"James!" Eliza croaked, throwing her arms around him. Her face was flushed with fever, and there were large dark circles under her eyes. The Wolfsbane Potion was too dangerous for a child to take monthly, so Eliza still became a werewolf every month. James made a point to visit her at least around the moon, if not more.

"Why aren't you in bed, my love?" he asked her, scooping her up. Her wide blue eyes searched his face intensely.

"A great question," scolded Teddy gently, from behind James.

"Because I'm always in bed when you come visit! It isn't fair!" wailed Eliza.

"I know, I know, and I'm going to bring you right back up there - I'm sorry!" he said dramatically. "But your father will yell at me for keeping you up for too long! I can't make everyone happy!" He started up the stairs with her in his arms, Teddy trudging behind, carrying James' gift basket.

"How come you're visiting before the moon?" Eliza asked suspiciously, as she bounced in his arms.

"Because he has a date," said Teddy slyly. James silently cursed Al's big mouth.

"Really?" said Eliza, nearly slipping out of her godfather's arms with excitement. James put her down (she was really getting big) and she scampered into her room and into her bed. "What's her name? What does she look like? Are you going to marry her?"

"Woah, alright, back it up," said James, raising his hands in defense and laughing. "First of all, I'll stop by to see you on Saturday, but it'll have to be earlier, and you'll probably be asleep,"

"You can wake me up," said Eliza informatively. "I want to see what you're going to wear," Teddy laughed at his daughter.

"But," continued James. "Her name is Laura, and she's very pretty, and I'm not quite sure if I'll marry her yet. If I do, you'll be the first to know, and the first invite to the wedding, okay?"

"Fine," she said, pursing her lips. "And I want to be the flower girl, too,"

 **A/N: Thanks for reading I'm predicting I'll get to about chapter five this time before giving up so stay tuned for four more chapters of this plotless crap.**


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